As peaceful as the castless?
As a child, I wasn't particularly happy, and I mean bubbly, giggly and cheerful. There was a time, a period of a few years around the age of 10, when I didn't know how to laugh.
I. did. not. know. how to. laugh.
I practiced smiling before the school photographs, I tried laughing but it felt like a crow was crying.
I guess all teens go through insecurities and maybe that is what it was, but I remember reflecting on this little fact, already as a pre-teen child. That it was strange, and sad, that I didn't know how to laugh.
Later in my teens I remember thinking that I would love to be able to giggle freely with my friends. Yes, I did have friends, but I found it hard to fit in. I think at this time though, that I had started laughing at times again.
Growing up I came into contact with people, it could be strangers on the street or in shops, or the yoga teacher that came to my university, or the random friend of the family who just seemed content and genuinely happy.
I could see it in their eyes. A sort of calm and centeredness that I found extremely fascinating. It was mostly older women, with grey hair they showed off proudly, lipstick or flattering clothes and a presence that was just Mmmm.
I made it my dream, to grow old with grace.
In the middle of university I travelled to India for a month of backpacking and here it was again! This particular look in people's eyes! Calm and happy inner peace was radiating from their eyes. Even from the ones living on the sides of the street.
Seeing that possessions really wasn't necessary for happiness, from witnessing true happiness beaming from the eyes of the castless, and as a backpacker being reduced to a few necessities while traveling, free from the "stuff" that occupied my life back home. It woke something up in me. I knew that there is a mystery inside which can bring us joy and true peace.
I just realized the other day, that I NOW AM AS PEACEFUL as the spiritually connected castless on the streets of India and the present women with white grey hair, lipstick and straight backs, moving gracefully around the world that she participates fully in. The secret is inner peace.
I now feel amazing. I truly feel so radiant and amazing that I smile up to the sky, lost for words. Just smiling with happiness, every day, and I wish that for EVERYONE.
YOUR time is here. If you are reading this, you are ready. Magically you have found yourself here. Take the leap. Do more of what makes you feel good on the inside and your heart will lead you there. Perhaps take my course? If it appeals to you. >
With so much love,
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